Looking in the Mirror

This morning at the Burson household didn’t start off the best. It’s day two of yet another week of us all being stuck at home because of the snow and ice and that makes people hyper, cranky, grumpy, etc. Kyle was being obnoxious, Christyn wouldn’t get out of bed, Dad was being impatient. Mom was mad because her pancakes weren’t turning out right. Clint and I were perfect angels, as usual. Ha! Just kidding. While we were sitting at the table eating our pancakes on this National Pancakes Day, Mom said that we all had things that we needed to work on. She started naming off things that each person needed to work on. Christyn asked what I needed to work on and I quickly spouted off my default answer, “I need to not be so cranky.” This is a true statement, but it’s also safe. I don’t want to own up to the fact that there’s a lot of other things that I need to work on, so I choose to admit the universally accepted fact that I am cranky most of the time and need to fix it. As the day has went on, I’ve continued to think about my shortcomings. Without further ado, here’s some of them. Maybe if I admit them here in front of my internet friends, I’ll make more of a press to fix them.

Patience: I am not, nor ever have been, a patient person. I  like to joke that my dating life has been one big lesson in patience. Waiting for Mr. Right, waiting for Mr. Wright (haha) to be baptized, waiting for Mr. Wright to finish school. A whole lot of waiting. You’d think I’d be more patient by now, right? Wrong. I am a slow learner. When I want answers, I want them RIGHT NOW. I pray for answers and I pray that I’ll get them instantly. That is not how God works. I need to work on letting God have His perfect way and perfect timing and I need to just chill and let things happen at the right time.

Trust: I doubt things a lot. God is probably very annoyed with me at times because of this. I ask for things to happen. I ask for things not to happen. They do. They don’t. And I STILL doubt. I still let that ol’ Devil creep into my mind and make me doubt the very things that I felt like God showed me. That is dumb. I need  to fix it.

Joy: I am not a naturally optimistic person. I always expect the worst. Always. This attitude prevents me from having joy in my life. I’m always worrying and unhappy about something. I  need  to work on finding more joy in my day to day life. From waking up feeling good to hearing  gospel songs, to having good conversations with my boyfriend and my family, to drinking coffee, there is always something to find joy in every day.

I need to be on my phone less. I need to spend less time on Netflix. I need to help mom around the house more. I need to go visiting more often. I need to spend more time getting to know people and building friendships. I need to not get irritated with my grandma when she says the same thing for the 50th time in a very short time span. I need to visit with Grandpa more. I need to be a good and willing listener. I need to be a better daughter, sister, sister in the faith, girlfriend, and servant of God. I need to be more in tune with God’s spirit. I need to examine myself DAILY. And yes, I need to not be so darn cranky with everyone. It’s hard to admit that we are less than perfect. It’s hard to look at ourselves and see a person who needs to change. Luckily, God can help us to see those flaws and if we are truly honest with ourselves, He can mold us into something better. And much less cranky.

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